For the longest time, Christmas was the holiday everyone looked forward to. However, after a recent ruling by the Supreme Court to replace Christmas with Xmas, a move called edgy and 'in tune with today's X-treme youth', many are wondering what the new holiday name will eventually evolve into.
Local pornography store frequenter Rusty Smeelton is hoping his idea for XXXmas will one day become the go-to name for the holiday.
"I like Xmas, don't get me wrong, but this holiday is all about showing the love and what shows loe more than a XXX movie with a woman being double-teamed by a plumber and a cable repairman?" Rusty stated in a recent interview.
Walking around town in his sweatpants and mustard-stained Van Halen t-shirt, Rusty has so far been unable to collect any signatures, apart from several "IP Freeley" written by local youths.
"The idea is really catching on. I know when I corner someone and tell them about XXXmas, they are really interested," Rusty said, proving he is oblivious to the clues of modern decency, or his own personal hygiene.
Mayor Marcus Freedman stated, "Rusty is going after that nugget now? God, I remember in high school he used to walk around with his shirt tucked into his underwear all the time. Seriously, you never wanted to sit near him...he had this way of staring at you. It just....creeped you out. Made you feel dirty."
Despite the lack of approval from the Mayor, Rusty is still hopeful.
"Oh Marcus and I go way back. I know that when I present this to city council next week, they are going to be all ears and ready to implement my new plan."
Upon hearing that Rusty would be presenting his XXXmas proposal at city council, Mayor Freedman pinched the bridge of his nose, sighed and muttered something about 'this stupid town...'
