In a surprise move, God, the Almighty, was removed from his post as the decider of our fates in a hostile corporate takeover by Zeus. Zeus, who had been in charge centuries ago, apparently organized the takeover feeling that the shareholders of existence, humans, were not being represented properly by God."There was a time when God would bust some heads. I mean when he flooded the world and killed everyone, we knew this guy meant business. But now, I don't know, he doesn't do much except making an oil stain look like him," said Zeus, CEO of Human Existence in a prepared statement.
God, who could not be reached for comment, is expected to retire now to his cottage in Florida to wait out the clock.
"Our shareholders need a badass creator and that is me. Look, God sent his son to talk to the shareholders and they crucified the poor guy. Well, I would like to see them try and do that with my son. Hercules would tear them a new asshole, I kid you not," Zeus said.
Other than the occasional woman seduced by Zeus posing as a swan, most humans are not expecting many changes under the new management.
"Zeus' beard!"
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