Newscaster Wishes Azerbaijan Would Stop Making News

Local newscaster Nick Willchuk, who has won several local awards and is a common sight at the annual Christmas parade, is reportedly fed up with trying to pronounce Azerbaijan on the news.
"I have no problem with the Azer...back...Jen...people, but seriously, this bloody country has to stop making the news," Willchuk said over coffee to his co-anchor this morning. "Why can't Brazil be in the news all the time? I swear, people don't take into consideration the people who have to say a country name when they name a country."
Azerbaijan, which is the largest country in the Caucasus region of Eurasia, and its residents, are apparently unaware of the displeasure echoed by Willchuk over their country's name.
"I thought I would get used to trying to pronounce that name but every time I try it comes across as something like Azza-backgammon," Willchuk said. "I'm getting tired of having to joke with my co-anchor about that [censored]ing name on the air."
Willchuk, who has no problem pronouncing over 200 country names, just can't seem to get things straight with Azerbaijan.
"I can't wait until the bloody conflict between two rival factions in the country is over so I can stop saying that freaking name on the air. Maybe the winning faction will change the name to something everyone can pronounce," Willchuk said. "Its like when you have that kid in school whose name you can't pronounce. You don't try to learn his name, you just strip him naked and tie him to a flag pole. I think Azza....whatever, needs to learn that lesson."
Recently, the situation in Azerbaijan has escalated as conflict spilled into the outlying areas, ensuring it will be a top story on the news tonight.
"[censored] me," Willchuk said upon hearing the news.
According to sources, Willchuk also hopes that Georgia will change the name of its capital from Tbilisi to something easier, like Jacksonville.