Kirk Cameron, the teen heart-throb who starred in Growing Pains in the 1980s and who became a born again Christian, has been presented with a Cease and Desist order from God Himself. The order, which stated that Cameron will no longer represent the Almighty in earthly matters cites many examples of Cameron shooting his mouth off on heavenly matters and, as the document states, "acting like a general douchebag.""Seriously, I liked Growing Pains but he totally ruined it with his Christian righteousness," the Almighty said in an interview that shattered the earthly bonds of reality. "I get it, you don't believe in evolution but do you really have to go on television with photoshopped photos, yelling about how it doesn't make sense? I created evolution bitch!"
Cameron is well-known for his support of Christian ideals and beliefs, even if they contradict reality and are debunked by mountains of facts compiled over the past century.
"Why can't he be more like Alan Thicke?" God questioned while taking a sip of heavenly scotch while sitting behind an oak desk.
When questioned about the Cease and Desist order, Cameron responded that Darwin was a drunk and clearly that proves that evolution is bogus.
"I prefer to believe what God has told me, and I will continue to spread his word and fight for Christianity and against evolution!"
When told with this God pinched the bridge of his nose, shook his head and responded with a loud outburst of profanity that shook Heaven and Hell.
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